(via mycreationisyourimagination)

whos ready to rage for halloween weekend?!?!

                             
1) the person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark
up the joint and get first hits...
 
2) if someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a complement
on his rolling skills...
 
3) if someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using the xcuse that
its okay forhim to bogart it since it's his weed, this is definetely not cool.
the punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much he put in.
(if it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you bug on the person
and rag on him  :-)
 
4) if someone is too palsy to light the bowl (due to being too stoned or
the person is just a retard :-) then they must relinquish contorl of the lighter
to someone more able to get it lit.  --this does NOT mean the person who
lights gets free hits... this priveleige tends to get abused ("hey lemme light
it for you...")
 
5) if someone is so much of a palsy that they blow INTO thebowl and blow
all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person cant
smoke on the next round (unless it was his stuff)

6) if you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some
munchy food you may have lying around.. don't be cheap withyou food if you
have food...
 
7) if someone who'se smoked asks for a sip of your soda, you must give him
some.. (drymouth is not fun)
 
8) converse of (7): if you ask for a sip, don't take a large gulp
 
9) if smoking froma bong or a joint, never put the whole thing in your
mouth and get it all sopping wet.. its disgusting and it messed up the joint.
 
10) if your smoking from a bong and these not enough in thebowl for a whole
other hit, you should save the smoke in the chamber for the next person..(dont
let go of the rushhold or 'carb' and take it all yourself)

11) never bogart

12) never bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If you don't like   
it don't smoke it!

13) if a friend gets you high sometime in the future you need to get that
friend high

14) Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never!

15) phrased in the form of a narrative:
OK. My buddy and I are sitting around smoking the weed that I just
scored. After flaming-up, and taking a few moderate puffs, I pass
it on.  The sounds that follow can only be described as
vacuum-like. After an a couple of huge, lung-busting tokes, the guy
passes back the remnants of something that could have, at some
point, been a joint. If it's not completely "canoed", then it's
absolutely soaked. I not-so-subtly drop that old Cheech&Chong line
"Hey man, can I wring it out for you?" He just looks at me. 
 
16) I have noticed the following:  After smoking-up, the odd "crass-
monkey" will actually eat the stained, disgusting roach. This must
be because they want that "extra bit" of oil, resin, or whatever's
left on the paper. This situation can be compared to the patron of
a good restaurant picking up his "as good as empty" plate and
licking off the remaining morsels of food. Sure he got that little
pool of gravy, but was it really worth it?

17) If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite to
roll a joint, (a small one, if you wish) and smoke with the person who sells
you the stuff.  

18) It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without notifying
that person of it's possible cashed-ness.  A proper warning would be 
'Here ya go...I think it might be cashed.

19) The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity to take the first
hit.  It doesn't matter who's bowl it is.

20) Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you high.  I know it 
sounds silly, but I know people who never say thanks and it gets a littly
annoying.

21) The person who brought the bud picks the music.

22) When using a bong, don't slobber all over it.

23) Again, when using a bong, DON'T blow out the ashes, unless that's what
the "homeowner" does.

24) NEVER go to someone's house EXPECTING them to catch you a buzz.  Of
course, there are exceptions to this rule...

25) If you spill the bong, clean it up!  (And don't forget to put water
back in it!!)

We are Stoner.
We go to work everyday.
We’ve thought about life more than you can understand.
We’ve values that you overlook.
We are the ones who hold your hair while your poison ejects itself.
We are the ones who can talk to the cop, since you can’t even stand.
We are prosecuted by those who are jealous of our zeal.
We don’t need help or your opinion, or that new fancy liver.

We are understanding, compassionate and forgiving. If the laws changed tomorrow, we would not hold spite for all the years or harassment.
We are joyous, happy and outgoing. Not only do we love the greatness we have found in life, but feel compelled to share it with you as well.
We are dependable, chivalrous and loyal. We don’t smoke to much pot and accidentally screw our best friends girlfriend.
We are accepting, trusting and doubtless. Ethnicity? Race? Social status? Don’t worry about all that, sit down and have a toke with us.

W will not give up. We will survive your trials. We will endure your lies. And sooner or later, we will win.
We are all together. We all accept each other. We are all one.
We are Stoner.

Joint Rolling Guide: for all you beginners!

http://www.weedfarmer.com/joint_rolling/index.htm

ATHENS — A Bulgarian baker was arrested after serving cocaine-sprinkled cookies to guests at a Greek funeral, news website Novinite reported Wednesday.

Mourners phoned for help after the traditional Greek cookies caused them to act strangely, and police discovered the cookies were sprinkled with cocaine instead of powdered sugar.

The baker, who is a Bulgarian national, was involved in drug trafficking and sent the cookies to the funeral service by mistake, police said.

Police later raided the gang running the cookie operation, and seized 60 kilograms of cocaine.

To those who are deft, skilled, and experienced joint rollers: I salute you! And, frankly, I envy you. Admittedly, I’m a poor excuse for a ladystoner on this one point: I am terrible at rolling. But I do love to try, and I love to watch others’ techniques. One thing I have learned: everyone has a paper preference. From the flavored the cellulose to the hemp, there’s a paper variety for each and every stoner. The trick is finding which one suits you best.

Flavored Papers

Hey, there’s berry-flavored herb; why not berry-flavored papers? While some stoners think a strain’s flavor should stand on its own, many stoners love flavored papers and the added dimension they add to a smoking experience. According to Juicy Jay’s, a leading maker of flavored papers, smoking from these papers creates “a mellowing effect to those strong tasting herbs and make them more enjoyable to smoke.”

I recommend using these if you don’t have top-notch weed and your stash could really use a little something extra. Try a few combinations before dismissing the concept or settling on a flavor. And pick a flavored paper that would complement your strain. Smoking some orange crush? Pair it with “Peaches ‘N Cream” for a fuzzy naval. Or pair mango kush with “Coconut” for a tropical flavor. Anyhow, you get the idea: it’s not for purists, but it sure is fun to try.

Hemp Papers

Why not smoke weed from … hemp? Makes perfect sense, right? I’m a fan of hemp papers, and anything hemp, really. It’s an incredible fiber. Hemp papers can range from the thick to the thin, and vary in sizes. I got hooked on these Bob Marley “Cigarette Papers” when I was in Jamaica. But there are many other brands, as well. A great one is RAW, which sells unbleached, organic hemp papers. If Earth-conscious decisions are important to you, try hemp rolling papers. So much better than chopping down a tree for a smoke!

Cellulose Papers

These papers have gained serious popularity in the past few years. Although negative rumors initially surrounded them (people thought they were smoking plastic), clear rolling papers are made from biodegradable natural cellulose. They are vegetable-based, odorless, and chemical-free. According to RollingPapers.net, “They burn quite well and very different then a normal white paper. They sort of compact around your cigarette as you are smoking and therefore provide a very tight pull. It’s quite unlike smoking a normal cigarette. They also have a sweet taste on the lips.”

One reason stoners really love these papers (other than the fact that they look 100% badass) is that they are typically slow-burning, so your J lasts longer, and less pot goes to waste. A few popular brands of clear rolling papers include: JOB Crystal, Trip, and Red Tape.

Wood Pulp Papers

When I think “rolling papers,” I think Zig-Zags. They are a classic stoner standby! I learned to roll using these papers. Zig-Zags are made from wood pulp and flax and come in five sizes. I usually purchase them in single wide or 1¼. Incredibly, Zig-Zag’s website has a whole section on why they use traditional wood-pulp paper for their product. Before you blow off wood-pulp paper, here’s what Zig-Zag has to say: “The plant materials ZIG-ZAG selects for its papers are chosen for their resistance and thinness, with total respect for nature. For instance, ZIG-ZAG only selects wood from carefully controlled logging operations, in the context of sustainable forest management.” Sounds pretty groovy, if you ask me!

Rice Papers

Who hasn’t rolled using a pack of E-Z Widers? Well, surprise, surprise, they aren’t made from wood pulp. They’re made from rice! According to RollingPaperDepot.com: “These fine, French papers come from the European factories in Belgium. Each product is high quality and as good as the last. They are not too thin or too thick, making them easy to roll for beginners. They burn clean with minimal ash.  E-Z Wider rolling papers are some of the most popular rolling papers on the market, known worldwide for their quality rice rolling paper. You won’t find a more even burn.”

I’m a fan of E-Z Wider’s 1¼, but other popular rice papers include: Elements and Smoking De Luxe.

Cones

For those with butter fingers, arthritis, ridiculously long fingernails, or otherwise subpar rolling skills, don’t fret: rolling cones are here to save you! Cones are essentially pre-rolled joints. All you have to do is add herb and enjoy. On the downside, these tend to be more pricey than regular rolling papers, but then again: they are error-proof, and you won’t waste 10 papers trying to perfect your joint-rolling skills. If you are taking marijuana for medicinal reasons, cones are great because they are the same every time, so you can better control your dosage.

Thanks to Rolling Paper Depot for these easy cone-packing steps: (1) Set aside the tobacco or medical herbs that you want to use (2) Stuff it in the cone (3) Pack it gently (not too tight) using a pen or another tamping device (4) Twist the wide end of the cone to close it up (5) You’re done!